Oedipus Wrecked
by D. M. Evans
Summary: Cordelia flees to Sunnydale after her night with Connor and skinned bodies keep turning up in LA and the Sunnydale.
1. Bodies in Los Angeles

OEDIPUS WRECKED

Author D. M. Evans

Feedback – ripewickedplum2@yahoo.com

Spoilers – Up to Angel Season 4  Slouching Towards Bethlehem and Buffy season 7 up to Same Time Same Place, goes AU after that

Rating – R

Disclaimer – All characters within are the property of Joss Whedon. I'm just happen for a chance to play with them.

Summary – You NEED to read Jocasta Revisited for this to make sense. This is a dependent sequel to that story. After Cordelia has a brief affair with Connor, she heads back to Sunnydale to try and find herself. Meanwhile, something wicked this way comes for both L.A. and Sunnydale.

'Bliss in Ignorance.'

Chapter One

"Disgusting," Gunn said as Fred clamped a hand over her mouth trying not to vomit. Two bodies lay in the park, skins gone and chests opened. Ribs glistened like a mangled cage that the hearts had escaped from.

"This is the third one like this," Angel said, seeing Gunn was trying to hide his own queasiness. The vampire was forced to admit these deaths were fairly gruesome. The first two times they had come across skinned bodies, there had just been one corpse at a time. Angel didn't care to think what this stepping up of the kill rate might mean. They were fresh kills. The scent of blood wafted from their denuded muscles. But Angel didn't think they had been killed in the park unless whatever had done it had lapped up all the blood. Besides, it was too exposed. It took time to skin a human.

"What does this mean?"

Leave it to Fred to ask. Angel glanced over at her. "I don't know. There are things that eat skin but they don't usually go for the heart and vice versa. Probably need Wes…" 

Angel stopped. For a brief moment he had forgotten Wesley was no longer with the group and in that moment he missed him. It hurt even more knowing Connor was with Wesley. Angel, in some part of his unbeating heart, had forgiven Wesley but didn't have the right words to tell him so. It left him wondering what Wes might be teaching Connor. Oddly enough, he trusted Wesley not to poison Connor's mind against him further. He knew Wesley had tried to protect Connor even if it had ended horribly and every time they saw their one-time friend things found a new level of down when they should have been trying to find their way back together.

He figured Wesley would take care of Connor but during the few run-in's he'd had with Connor since Cordelia left a month ago proved Connor still had his mad on and that he seemed to think Angel hated the idea he was staying with Wesley. And the teen always managed to say exactly the right thing to yank Angel's chain and never let him say he didn't care so long as Connor was all right.

"We can do the research," Fred said uneasily, following Angel's thoughts.

Angel nodded, his head lifting as he used his keen sense to test for danger in the area. He thought he heard something. "We should get out of here before we're seen."

"Another one?"

Angel's team spun on the slick park grass when the new voice softly cut the night. Wesley stood behind them. Connor was only visible in the shadows by the stark paleness of his face.

"What do you know about this?" Angel asked, happy that he managed to keep the edge off his voice.

Wesley sauntered over, his face astonishingly impassive. "Not enough."

"Join the club," Gunn grumbled, lowering his hubcap axe, which had automatically been cocked up into an offensive position upon hearing an unexpected voice.

"But what would want to take the skin and the heart? Could it be eating it?" Fresh asked, a quiver tearing through her shapeless frame.

"Possibly. Could be they are harvesting spell ingredients," Wesley said, edging nearer to the bloody corpses.

"Trophies," Connor said, melting out of the shadows. He moved very purposefully to Wesley's side. He shot Angel a cocky look.

Angel remembered seeing his adult son for the first time. The boy had been clad in skins, a bandolier of trophies around his slim body. The first thing Connor did out on his own in this world was to take someone's ear. "Very possible."

"If either of you two are right that means we're dealing with humans," Gunn said flatly.

"Not necessarily. There are demons who collect ingredients for mages and others who take trophies," Angel said. "But we might be facing a human killer."

"What do we do then?" Fred edged closer to Gunn.

"I don't know." Angel tried to ignore Connor's smirk at that admission. How did he end up with such an arrogant child?

"What are you even doing here, English?" Gunn asked, looping an arm around Fred. "Spying on us?"

Wesley shot him a withering look. "Connor and I heard about the first killings and I thought it was something that bore researching into."

"Anything we find I'll let you know. I don't want Con…" Angel trailed off. He was about to say he didn't want Connor at risk but the look on his son's face said the boy knew what he meant and resented it. Reasonable, given his upbringing. 

"Thank you," Wesley said, but the words were cool as the night air.

"Can I talk to you alone for a minute?" Angel asked, not missing the suspicious expression that darkened Connor's face. Wesley looked no less mistrustful but he moved away from the others, closer to a copse of trees.

"How is he?" Angel whispered.

"Good." Wesley glanced back at Connor. "He's listening, you know."

Angel nodded. "I know. I just want to be sure he's all right."

"He's fine. He's learning that he likes to read and I'm learning he has abysmal musical taste. Cordy calls him a couple times a week," Wesley said, a hint of warmth finally entering his tone.

"Good." Angel turned to go. "And I meant that, Wesley, if I learn anything you need to know I'll pass it along. And thank you for looking after him."

Wesley nodded and walked off. He paused and looked back. "Glad to do it."

Angel waved for Gunn and Fred to follow him.

"What was that?" Gunn asked as they got into the GTX.

"Just checking up on Connor," Angel said, sliding behind the wheel.

"That boy can take care of himself," Gunn said, sitting shotgun.

"Doesn't matter, Charles. Angel worries," Fred said, leaning over the front seat to pat Gunn on the shoulder.

"I do. He's still a boy," Angel said, slowly pulling out onto the road.

"Who tried to kill you." Gunn thumped a hand against the car door.

"Who was primed to do so for his entire life. He's not responsible for doing what Holtz spent eighteen years training him to do. Maybe it's too much to ask you and Fred to forgive him but I have," Angel said in a tone that suggested arguing would be a bad idea.

His companions hushed, looking guilty.

"What about Wesley?" Fred asked after several minutes of silence.

"Maybe it's time to mend fences. Maybe it's too late. I want to know one way or the other," Angel said. "And something is telling me I'll need his insight on this. Whatever else he is, Wesley's a storehouse for this sort of knowledge. With Cordy in Sunnydale, I don't have her visions to help us."

"She could call them in," Gunn grumbled, looking unhappy with the idea of dealing with Wesley.

"Of course but she hasn't had any. And I've gotten lazy, too dependent on her, on Lorne and whoever else, to guide me. It's time to start thinking things through on my own again. Or, should I say, start acting like part of the team again because I don't think any of us are assuming these deaths are going to stop any time soon," Angel said and to that they had no reply.  
  



	2. Revelations in Sunnydale

CHAPTER TWO

"Kind of makes you wish Giles were here, doesn't it?" Buffy asked, taking a nervous sip of tea. There were better ways to start a Saturday. Seeing how pale Dawn was, sitting on the couch, Buffy regretted her decision to include her sister in this part of her life. Truth be told, Dawnie looked as wan as Buffy felt. Willow and Xander appeared equally ill. Cordelia seemed positively green, huddled up in a living room chair.

Buffy still couldn't believe Queen C was back in town and wasn't sure how she felt about it. She was staying with her parents for a little break from L.A. but she was throwing in with Buffy and the rest of the Scoobs like old times. With some overseas counseling from Giles, Willow managed a spell that returned Cordy's memories. During the course of that magic, Cordy had babbled uncontrollably, her memories pouring back into her head and out over her tongue. She spoke of being in love with Angel, being made to feel his decades as Angelus while she was a higher being – was the Cosmos a joker or what? – and how his evil permeated her like poison. She muttered about people Buffy didn't know, like Lorne and Connor but once the spell was over, Cordelia had become usually quiet. 

Buffy didn't ask about the things she'd heard. She wasn't ready to know if Angel had loved Cordy back. That Cordy wanted Angel was no surprised. She had since she first saw him. The fact that it could be love instead of lust made it better somehow. Despite Buffy's curiosity, it was just better to let sleeping dogs lie. Willow agreed and thankfully Xander hadn't been there to hear the confession.

"Maybe we ought to call Giles," Xander said, tugging at the ragged hem of his work jeans.

"The last time we found a skinned body we handled it just fine," Buffy said, shooting Willow an uneasy look that thankfully her friend didn't seem to notice. She left out 'after we stopped thinking it was Willow's doing.'

"Last time?" Cordy shuddered. "I'm beginning to regret I ever remembered anything about Sunnydale."

"Do you think there could be another Gnarl out there?" Willow clutched a hand over her gut protectively. Xander petted her shoulder comfortingly. Dawn, like Willow, found a new shade of pale at the remembrance of the demon. Her time as a pose-able action figure wouldn't be soon forgotten.

"Could be but he just ate the skin and drank the blood. He didn't take hearts, too," Buffy said, her nose wrinkling.

"Really regretting the whole memory thing," Cordy moaned, fluffing her blonde hair. She wished she could remember why she had ever gotten this unflattering cut and color. She had always been vain so why do something that made her look ten years older than she was?

"Trust me, Cordy, I don't want to see one of these things again. Last time around my belly skin was munchies for it," Willow said, rubbing a careless thumb over he flat abdomen.

  
Cordy's green color went more verdant and she fled the room. 

Willow raised an eyebrow. "Getting sick? That's not the Cordy we used to know."

"I know life hasn't been any more normal for her in L.A.," Buffy said, an almost concerned look flickering in her eyes.

"She threw up when I took her for coffee yesterday. Said she must have had a touch of food poisoning," Xander said, still surprised when Cordy suggested on catching up with him. He had been relieved she had finally forgiven him for the sins of high school.

"Yeah, she got sick the day before, Buffy,  waiting for you to come home from work. She told me the same thing," Dawn put in.

Buffy glanced over at Willow. "Could the memory spell be making her sick?"

She shrugged. "I'll ask that question into my email to Giles."

Cordy stumbled back in. "Sorry. I thought maybe I had food poisoning but it won't go away. Maybe I have stomach flu…or it's a late side effect of being a higher being."

"Yeah that's making us all queasy," Xander said and Willow slapped him. Cordy just gave him one of her patented sour looks.

"Maybe you should see a doctor," Dawn said, glancing up at the clock as if she were expecting something.

"I did yesterday. Hopefully I'll hear from her soon. Sorry to interrupt everything, Buffy. I don't think we ever ran across anything like this in L.A." Cordy shrugged apologetically.

"Other than the Gnarl, we haven't either. I guess our best bet is to email Giles," Buffy said, "and I'll talk to Spike and see if he knows anything." 

Xander glared at the mention of the psychotic vampire's name. Dawn looked no happier and Cordelia just watched them bemused by their reactions.

"I'll ask Anya, too. Centuries in the vengeance game might give her an insight we don't have," Xander said.

"Anya's speaking to you?" Willow was surprised.

"D'Hoffryn sent another demon after her and her place got torn up. She didn't want to ask me for help but she can't keep paying for the reconstruction of her home. I offered to do it for her," Xander replied, an uncomfortable look settling on his broad face. 

"Oh. Good luck with that." Willow seemed equally uncomfortable. She wanted her friends to be happy but she couldn't shake the feeling it was a bad idea, that too much had happened to go back.

 "I can talk to Wesley and Angel," Cordy offered, cautiously watching Buffy's face. To her surprise, it remained fairly impassive.

"Good idea. With whatever else is happening with this 'from below it devours' stuff, I don't need something else running around skinning people. We're not lucky enough for them to have the same cause. I'm willing to use any sources we can think of," Buffy said, as Cordy's cellular rang.

The seer stepped into the other room to answer it without disturbing the talk.

"I'd better get going, Buffy. I promised Kit and Carlos that I'd meet them at the Espresso Pump so we can work through MacBeth," Dawn said, making a face.

"Oooo, that's such a good play," Willow said, her green eyes lighting up.

Dawn's scowl deepened. "I could think of something more fun to do than spend a Saturday studying."

"If it's any consolation, Dawn, the rest of us aren't exactly having a great time here," Buffy said as Cordy returned, a somber look in her eyes. She sat stiffly on the couch. "You okay, Cordy?"

"Yeah," she mumbled without conviction.

"Speaking of no fun, I'd better hit Home Depot and head to Anya's," Xander said. "If something happens, call."

"We will. See you tonight, Xand. If you head anywhere but the Espresso Pump, Dawn, call me," Buffy said. 

Dawn sighed, tossing back her hair. "Sure. Can you drop me off there, Xander?"  He waved her on so she headed out the door with him.

"Guess that leaves us to get started on the research. You give Wesley a call, Cordy, and I'll email Giles," Willow said.

Cordy nodded then a loud sob escaped her. She clamped  a hand over her mouth a little too late to keep it in. Buffy and Willow exchanged glances, hoping this wasn't one of Cordy's usual histrionics. Buffy didn't doubt Cordelia was upset but she hoped Cordelia wouldn't make too much of it like she was wont to do.

"What's wrong, Cordy?" Buffy asked. "What was the phone call about? It's obviously upset you."

Cordy took several deep breaths getting her crying under control. She wiped the tears from her face. "That was my doctor."

Buffy and Willow's faces lost their edges. Willow touched Cordy's shoulder. "Was it bad news?"

Cordy flashed a fragile smile. "Depends on your point of view." Her body shook as that smile collapsed. "I'm pregnant."


	3. Together Again

OEDIPUS WRECKED

Author D. M. Evans

Feedback –  geekgirzrus@yahoo.com

Website – www.geekgirlz-r.us

Spoilers – Up to Angel Season 4  Slouching Towards Bethlehem and Buffy season 7 up to Same Time Same Place, goes AU after that

Rating – R

Disclaimer – All characters within are the property of Joss Whedon. I'm just happen for a chance to play with them.

Summary – You NEED to read Jocasta Revisited for this to make sense. This is a dependent sequel to that story. After Cordelia has a brief affair with Connor, she heads back to Sunnydale to try and find herself. Meanwhile, something wicked this way comes for both L.A. and Sunnydale.

Chapter Three

Buffy skulked through one of Sunnydale's cemeteries, her mind nowhere near her job. The bright moon cast shadows to mirror the ones in her mind. She hadn't found Spike in the school basement so she wondered where the half mad vampire might be. But that wasn't all that important just now.

Nothing was in her mind beyond Cordy's revelation. Was this baby Angel's? No, that made no sense. Vampires were dead. They only reproduced via their bite and blood. It didn't matter if Cordy loved Angel. Love couldn't create life where there was none. 

Cordy was in no shape to talk right now. She had gone home crying too hard to make sense. Buffy could understand Cordelia needing time even if it left her to angst over what might have been between herself and Angel. What might still be between him and Cordy. Willow had been quick to point out that they didn't even know if Cordy and Angel had been lovers. Buffy decided to think of the baby as Groo's, someone she only knew from Cordy's wild ramble as her memories returned. A warrior from another realm who called Cordy 'princess' and for whom they had expended effort to find a 'psychic condom' for was exactly the type Buffy could see Cordy having a kid with. It couldn't be Angel's. If it was, she'd find a way to deal with it but until then it just simply wasn't possible.

That terrible talk she had had with Xander and Willow about killing Anya after her murderous vengeance spree proved she still had strong feelings for Angel. Buffy wanted to deny it but she couldn't. Riley should have proven that to her. She tried to love him but there were barricades in her heart all bearing Angel's name. She had no idea what she had with Spike. What made her do it? To reinforce feeling bad about herself? Maybe. Because she needed someone? Possible. Why she had never killed him was still a mystery even to herself. She should have taken Spike out the moment he was neutered but she hadn't. Maybe it was because he was Angel's 'grandson', a link to someone who had broken into her soul and she couldn't bear to part with even one reminder.

She had Willow email Giles about Cordy's pregnancy along with their questions. She knew it was overstepping her boundaries but there was a concern she and Willow had talked about in whispers. If the baby was Angel's or some otherworldly warrior's, what would the infant be born as? A human? A demon? As the Slayer, she needed to know. A demon child couldn't be allowed to live.

Sounds of a fight tore her away from her misery. Buffy loped along, almost grateful for a chance at something to kill. It didn't take long to find the battle and as a bonus Spike was dead center of it. He wore a gleeful look as he whirled, almost as if in a ballet. Buffy wasn't even sure he was intending to kill the vampires surrounding him. The knife's edge grin on his face suggested he was having too much fun just toying with them.

Buffy stabbed one of the vampires with such force her arm jarred all the way to the shoulder but it felt good. It was doing something more than walking around thinking about all the 'might have been's'. She spun through the dust and staked another one without much effort. Spike saw her and beamed.

"Join the fray, Sunshine girl."

Buffy had quit trying to puzzle out half of what Spike said since he regained his soul. He was nearly as nutty as Dru any more. She wondered if Angel had become like this when he was first given back his soul. From what he'd said, he hadn't done much living in the real world until he met her and now his grandchilde was looking to her the same way.

Hearing a cry behind her and that weird noise that accompanied a vampire dusting, Buffy twisted to see whom other than her or Spike had entered the fight. She nearly dropped her stake when she came face to face with Angel.

"Hey Peaches, nice of you to show up," Spike called cheerfully as he snapped another vampire's neck.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked as a young African-American man darted out from the shadows and polished off the last vamp with a weird axe. "And not that I'm complaining about the help, but who's that?"

"That's Gunn." Angel flipped a hand over his shoulder at a woman with a crossbow that seemed to have more heft and width to it than she did. "And that's Fred. They're both part of Angel Investigations. We thought we'd better see if your skinned victims were mirrors to ours. Probably should have warned you." Angel gave her a grin.

Buffy relaxed, her face brighter than it had been in a long time. "No, it's okay. I'm glad you're here. I was somehow half expecting you."

"It's a homecoming and no one baked Granddaddy a cake," Spike said, brushing dust off his jacket.

Angel canted his eyes at Buffy. "What's up with Spike? Drunk again?"

"It's a very long story." Buffy grimaced. What if Spike started babbling about their former relationship? Angel might need to know about it but she wanted to be the one to tell him. Alone. 

Spike flung a thin arm around Angel's broad shoulders. "Sorry, old man, about everything. I never understood. Now I do."

"What are you talking about?" Angel said, edging out of Spike's grasp. Spike frowned and Angel gave him a warning look he'd been using on the smaller vampire for more than a century.

"Hush. I know, I know." Spike spoke to something over his shoulder that only he saw. "Have to get back underground. Been out too long." Spike darted off.

"Is he always that weird?" Gunn asked, pointing after Spike with his axe.

"No, Spike's usually down to earth," Angel said, staring off after Spike. "He's not really old enough to get soft in the head like some vampires do when they get too old."

"Vampire? Any reason we didn't dust him?" Gunn snarled, turning to Angel. "Seriously, do we even do that any more?"

"Just dusted a few," Fred said placatingly, patting his arm.

"Spike tends to get special consideration though for the most part I'm not sure why," Buffy said. "By the way, I'm Buffy."

"Oh! You're her! I never thought I'd meet you. Angel's talked so much about you but I never…" Fred trailed off, looking flustered. She was trying so hard not to babble on any more. Gunn put a hand on her arm.

Somehow knowing he still talked about her made Buffy feel better. 

"Want a lift back to… wherever you guys use as your headquarters these days?" Angel finished lamely.

"My house. That's about the only thing that hasn't changed since you've been gone." Buffy winced. Why had she said that? It sounded so critical.

Angel didn't seem upset. He just waved a hand to show the way. "My car's that way."

Buffy followed him back to the big black convertible. A nervous flutter tickled her stomach as Gunn and Fred took the backseat leaving her sitting next to Angel. She didn't know why she should be so edgy. This was Angel. She knew him better than anyone. Of course how he spent the last four years was a mystery to her and vice versa. Was it because she knew Cordy loved him and wondered if he felt the same? Then there was the whole Spike thing, not to mention a baby on the way. Buffy sighed. Why couldn't her life ever been simple?

"So you're the Slayer?" Gunn leaned over the back of the seat. Buffy nodded. "Cool. And you really just let that blond vampire roam around."

"You work for a vampire," Buffy pointed out.

"No, he works for us. Sorta." Gunn scowled.

"Angel's different," Fred said protectively. "He's got a soul but you know that. Sorry."

Buffy smiled gently. "That's okay. It's sort of the same reason we aren't killing Spike these days."

Angel nearly drove up on the sidewalk. "What?"

"Like I said, it's a long story. He came back to Sunnydale three years ago and got neutered by the chip implant but I've told you that part…a few weeks ago he came back again. This time with a soul and it's driven him…well, nuts." Buffy shrugged. "You saw."

"Another vampire with a soul? What does that mean? It has to mean something, right?" Fred asked, looking between Angel and Buffy.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Angel whispered, gazing at Buffy, blowing past a red light.

"I wanted to but…I was afraid." Buffy stared out the side window so she wouldn't have to look at him. "Afraid I might have to kill him if he was too insane to control, afraid that I couldn't kill him because I felt guilty about this because he did it for me." Buffy could feel Angel's eyes on her but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. Not yet. Not until she could explain everything. "And I'll tell you all about that when we have time…when we're alone."

"Fair enough," Angel grunted, stomping on the gas.

Buffy knew he wasn't happy but it would have to do. She glanced over her shoulder at Gunn. "How many bodies have turned up in L.A.?"

"Four that we know of," he replied. "How about here?"

"Just two, but it was odd enough that a little info trading seemed like a good idea," Buffy said as Angel pulled up to the curb.

Buffy glanced up at the dark upstairs windows. Dawn had called and asked permission to stay overnight at Kit's. Buffy had gratefully said yes since she didn't want Dawn overhearing her and Willow talking about skinned bodies and pregnant former cheerleaders because she knew her sister would have input and she wasn't up for Dawn's oft-time cynicism. Buffy opened the door and ushered them in. 

"Buffy!" Willow called from the kitchen. "Giles is on his way here. Between the skinned bodies, the thing from below  that devours and Cordy being pregnant, he thought we might need him." The young witch bounced into the living room and stopped dead seeing they had company. "Oh, Angel. I wasn't expecting to see you. How are you?"

"A little off-kilter," the vampire said, honestly looking it. "I didn't just hear…"

"Did you say Cordy's pregnant? That can't be…can it?" Fred asked, her brown eyes huge and wide.

"Preg…holy shit," Gunn muttered.

Willow grimaced. "I guess I shouldn't have said anything. She's going to be so mad. But you guys are her friends so I suppose you would have found out sooner or later."

"It's true?" Angel whispered, automatically taking a lap around the living room, pacing off the influx of nervous energy.

"Son of a bitch," Gunn growled, not even sure why he was angry or if he even was.

"Where is she?" Fred asked.

"At her parents place but she's not in any shape to talk to anyone. She won't pick up the phone or answer the door," Buffy said. "Sit down. Can I get you guys something?"

Fred shook her head frantically and sagged onto the couch. Gunn sat beside her.

"I would have thought Cordy was smarter than this," Gunn said, finally deciding what he could be angry about.

"She seemed pretty shocked," Willow said, curling up on a chair.

Buffy stopped Angel in front of the fireplace. "Are you sure you're okay?" Buffy watched his face but saw only pain there. He didn't answer her.  She leaned close and whispered, "Is the child yours?"

Angel startled as if slapped. He broke away from her. "No. It's my son's."

"Your what?" Buffy knew her mouth was dangling open but she didn't care.

"It's a long story…like Spike. I need…I can't be here just now," Angel said, heading for the door.

Buffy followed him. "Willow, catch everyone up and vice versa."

She shut the door behind her and jogged after Angel. He was already half way up the sidewalk, totally ignoring his car. They walked in silence until they got to one of the parks. Angel sat down hard on one of the swings, leaning against the chain. Buffy sat next to him.

They sat speechless for a minute or so before Buffy spoke. "So…you have a son?"

"His name is Connor. He's eighteen, give or take a few years," Angel said simply.

"How is that possible?" Buffy studied his face in the dim moonlight. "That would make him just a few years younger than me. You've never mentioned a son and you've been a vampire for centuries. You can't have children."

He leaned back on the swing a bit. "Then why did you ask me if Cordy's baby was mine?"

Buffy scuffed a toe in the soft dirt. "Because when she got her memories back, we overheard some of them, including that she loved you. Sounds like she loved a guy name Groo at the same time so at least she's still as fickle as ever." When Angel said nothing Buffy winced. "Sorry. That was petty." She reached out and brushed his hand. "Do you love her?"

Angel shrugged. "I don't know. I keep thinking it's impossible. I loved you and look where that got us. I shouldn't be looking to love anyone ever again, not until I find a way around my curse. But our friends…they kept telling us we were in love but we just couldn't see it. I know I care about her but is it love? I have no idea and no matter what it was, it's dead now."

Buffy leaned her head against the swing's thick chain. "Because of this baby?"

Angel shook his head. "Before that." He got up and wandered around the swing set. Buffy could read the anger written into the rigidity of his muscles. "I can't help thinking she took advantage of Connor. He doesn't know…well, he doesn't know a lot. He was raised in a hell dimension."

"That would explain why I never heard about him."

"There's more to it than that." Angel sat again. "A few months ago he was just a baby, mine and Darla's. Don't ask. Just leave it as she was brought back from the dead, made a vampire again and is dust once more." Angel tightened his hands around the swing's chains. "I wanted to tell you about him but you were…adjusting to being alive again."

 "That's a word for it." Buffy snorted harshly.  "Dying on the inside is a better term."

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm sorry I couldn't help you, that I wasn't there when…that I wasn't there period." Angel brushed her cheek with his long fingers. "I've told you where I was, not that it matters."

"You still could have told me you had a baby," Buffy said softly, staring at her shoes.

Angel got back up, pacing in front of the swings. "There wasn't time. I was being stalked by someone who's family I destroyed nearly two hundred years ago. He managed to get brought into this time and I knew he wanted me dead or better yet, suffering. Connor was the way to do it. Besides him there were Wolfram and Hart trying to steal my son. I was doing everything I could just to keep him safe. It didn't work. Connor was kidnapped by Holtz, the man stalking me, and they ended up in a hell dimension."

"Where time moves faster, sort of like when I…" Buffy trailed off, giving him a pitying look.

Angel rested his hand on her slim shoulders. "Yes, like that. A week or so passed here and I could think of nothing but getting him back. And then I did, as a teen. He's still so new to this world. It was wrong of Cordelia to…seduce him. I think she realized that and that's why she's here. Connor doesn't see it that way."

"Where is he now?" Buffy craned her head up to look at him, her hair brushing his chest.

"In L.A.. He lives with Wesley." Angel scowled, returning to his seat, the nearness of Buffy, the familiarity of their long talks making him feel weak-kneed. "Wesley and the rest of us had a falling out."

"So why would Connor live with him?"

"Holtz raised Connor to hate me. He sees me as Angelus, the killer of his father's family since that's what Holtz told him. He knows I'm really his father and he couldn't hate me more for it. I didn't have the time to tell you about Connor once we got him back since he betrayed me, sealed me in a metal coffin and threw me into the ocean. Wesley eventually rescued me three months later."

Buffy squeezed his cold hand. "I'm so sorry, Angel."

"Some would say I got what I deserved for what I did to Holtz. Connor certainly does. Maybe he's right. Regardless, he has as little to do with me as he can." Angel squeezed her hand back. "I just wish I knew what to do about this baby."

"I don't think that's for you to say. It's up to Cordy," Buffy pointed out.

"I'm not sure Connor would understand. He's certainly not ready for something like this."

"And you all will find a way to deal with it. We always do, right?" Buffy sighed. "I wasn't ready to help raise my sister but there wasn't a choice. And I think maybe we're doing okay."

"I'm glad of that." Angel disentangled his hand from Buffy's. "Spike really has his soul?"

Buffy pursed her lips and hesitated for a few moments. "He does."

"I remember…hearing the voices of those I killed when I first got mine back. It was more horrible than you could possibly know. I think I talked to them too like he was doing tonight. I know that's what he was doing. It makes perfect sense now. But he did it for you?"

She tilted her head up to look at the stars then met Angel's eyes. "He thinks he loves me."

"Oh." Angel stared at her. Neither of them moved but both suddenly felt imprisoned in something cold and ugly.  "Do you love him?"

"No. I feel something for him, Angel. I have no idea what it is, only that it's wrong. He thought with a soul I could love him like I loved you," Buffy said, wanting to look away but she couldn't.

Angel closed his eyes for a moment then asked, "Why?"

Buffy turned away then, the chains twisting above her head. "Because we were…lovers isn't the right word. The right word is vulgar and I think you know exactly what I mean."

"I do." That came out as a low growl.

Buffy flinched just a hair expecting more, thinking she might deserve the wave of anger she sensed building. "I'm not asking you to understand. Hell, I don't understand."

"Buffy," he interrupted. "You don't owe me any explanations. It's your life, your choices. I can't interfere with that."

"Sometimes I wish someone would." Buffy sighed, letting her head fall back again so she could pretend to study the stars. It was easier than meeting Angel's eyes.

"You don't really want that. I could…I want to…" Angel sputtered.

"Tell me exactly what you think of me and Spike," she finished for him.

"I hate it." Those simple words frosted the park around them. "And we can leave it at that. I don't want to fight with you, Buffy. This night has been horrible enough as it is. If we continue, we're just going to fight and I don't want that."

She nodded, knowing it was true.  "We ought to head back. We have something skinning people all over the place."

Angel stood and gave her a hand up. "On the way home, tell me what you mean by 'from below it devours'."


	4. Getting a Clue

CHAPTER FOUR

Connor heard Lilah nearing Wesley's bedroom door, her phone conversation concluded, and sank deeper into the couch pillows. He felt a bit guilty. Usually he left the apartment when Lilah came over and went out to hunt. But the last few times he had refused to do so. The first time it had been one of those rare southern California rain showers and he didn't feel like getting soaked to the bone. That night, when Wesley was distracted by whatever it was he had been doing in the kitchen, Lilah had called Connor creepy and weird along with some choice comments about his looks. Most of those had sailed past Connor since his whole experience with human women encompassed Cordelia, Fred and Justine. He didn't know that most women didn't go for the pale skinny guys and probably wouldn't have cared if he had.

What he did care about was that he knew Lilah was being condescending and mean to him. He figured he didn't have to put up with that. He hadn't like Lilah even before that. He didn't see why Wesley tolerated her, beyond the obvious. He knew what they did behind that bedroom door. Connor didn't blame Wesley for that. He had enjoyed sex that time with Cordy. He wanted to do it some more if he had the chance but he thought Wesley could find a more appropriate mate. 

  
Connor knew Lilah was the enemy. He knew Wesley was aware of it and he couldn't understand why Wesley wanted to lie down with someone who dealt with demons. It had almost driven Connor out of the apartment for good when he found out Lilah was with Wolfram and Hart. He knew they wanted him to experiment on or use him; Wesley had warned him of it. Wesley assured Connor there were reasons he was with Lilah, which had nothing to do with love. Connor pointed out Father had told him it was a sin to be with a woman he didn't love. Wesley had only given him a pitying look. Connor took that as another reason to not be around when Lilah visited.

Connor knew he should have just left the apartment but he felt like being just as rude to her as she had been to him. He had expected Wesley to yell at him for staying the first time he did so but Wesley never addressed it. So the past few times, he stayed in, watched TV, played with the video game Wesley had given him or laid in his room trying to ignore the noise coming from the other room.

The bedroom door opened. Connor could hear the shower in the master bedroom running and heard the clack of Lilah's heels as she crossed into the living room. He peeked over the arm of the couch at her, ignoring Cops! on tv. He rather liked the show. Wesley thought it was a waste of his time. He grinned at her in a decidedly unfriendly smile. 

  
She flicked one right back at him. "Have fun listening in? Out here pulling your wank?"

Connor just flopped back on the couch, ignoring her. He didn't know what a wank was or why he should want to pull it but he wasn't going to tell her that. 

She stalked over to him and  grabbed the stubble that was quickly regrowing over his shaved head. She yanked hard. "I don't want to see you here next time, freak."

Connor just dug two fingers into the flesh between her arm bones and she let him go with a yelp. He leveled his cold blue eyes on her, a slightly maniacal look settling on his gaunt face. He liked that ripple of power surging through him, seeing that he could scare her without saying anything. 

Lilah paled. "You're gone next time, you hear me?"

"Next time you're here, I'll show you my collection of trophies from things I've killed," Connor said, even though he had regrettably lost his trophies. His eyes flicked to her hands. "Nice nails, Lilah. Hmmmm, maybe I should add to the trophies."

"Psychotic little bastard," she muttered as she let herself out the front door.

Soon enough the shower turned off and Wesley came out, sitting in the chair across from Connor. "She was worried about a client that got picked up last night."

"I know," Connor admitted slowly. That was confessing he had been listening in. Of course, Wesley knew he couldn't help it, not with his augmented senses.

"I was counting on it. That's why I took a shower. She was dying to make that call. She knew I wouldn't be able to hear over the water running and she has no idea you hear as well as you do. What did she say?"

"Something about the guy who got caught would be hard to defend cause he was caught naked except for a cloak made of human skin from one of those victims we found." Connor made a face.

"Excellent." Wesley looked sheepish. "I mean, that's good since it gives us a place to start looking for a reason for all of this."

Connor wrinkled his nose. "Beyond madness?"

Wesley laughed harshly. "Yes. Did Lilah say anything else?"

Connor shrugged. "Does  Zippy toe tag mean anything?" 

Wesley smiled. "I think you mean Xipe Totec and yes, that clears up everything completely.  Help me look up a few things, please, Connor." Wesley headed for the bookshelf, scanning rapidly.

Connor trailed after him. "You're not…mad at me?"

Wesley looked over his shoulder. "About what?"

"Me listening in. I know it's…Father said it was wrong to eavesdrop." Connor stared at his feet, shuffling side to side.

"It's okay. Some people get a vicarious thrill out of being listened to." Wesley smirked. 

Connor shot him a puzzled look but Wesley offered no further explanation. He just handed Connor some books and nodded toward the couch.

"Just scan for references to Xipe Totec and his cult," Wesley said.

"Okay." Connor flipped open a book, scowling. "Um, how do you spell that?"

Wesley grinned. "Just look for words beginning with X."

*                                                          *                                              *

Wesley had a bit of trouble convincing Connor to go with him to Sunnydale. Connor didn't want to run into Cordy before she requested to see him again but at the same time he desperately wanted to see her. He also didn't want to deal with Angel who had told Wesley he was there, true to his word about keeping Wesley appraised about the serial killer they were both tracking. Telling the young man there was an endless parade of demons to be found on the Hellmouth helped. Connor seemed thrilled with the idea of demons to kill at will. Wesley understood it was the little things that made Connor happy.

"Have you been here before?" Connor asked, air surfing his hand out the window of the serviceable Honda Civic Wesley had trade his ridiculous excuse for a motorcycle in for.

"I used to be Buffy's Watcher. I lived in Sunnydale then."

"What's a Watcher?" Connor asked and Wesley explained it. Connor looked him over then asked, "Why aren't you her Watcher now?"

"I did a bad job. I had some very big problems back then, mostly me being an arrogant ass," he said, brutally honest.

"Pride, one of the deadly sins." Connor gave him a solemn look. He had that peculiar glint in his blue eyes that he got when he was reciting something Wesley was fairly sure Holtz had drilled into him.

Wesley could see where Angel had made a huge mistake with Connor; probably one Gunn, Fred and Cordy had made as well. He had made it once himself. They villianized Holtz, called him a kidnapper or worse. Wesley had come to see Connor idolized Holtz and death had done nothing to diminish the boy's love for his surrogate father.

"With reason as I discovered. I doubt anyone in Sunnydale will be overjoyed to see me again," Wesley said.

"Then why come here?" Connor slouched more in his seat. "You could have just called and told them what you learned."

"I tried but couldn't get through. This is important. If what I think is happening is real, then more people will die."

Connor nodded. "Do you think…" His eyes flicked over at Wes, a manic look in them. "Think Dad will be upset I'm here?"

"Connor, I think your father loves you and would be please to see you," Wesley said without hesitation.

Connor snorted, rolling his eyes. 

Wesley didn't miss that. "I know you don't believe that but it's true."

"I don't care." There was a forcefulness to Connor's words and yet a subtle lack of conviction at the same time.

  
Wesley didn't respond. He knew that Connor wanted to be angry. Maybe he even needed it. For now, Wesley was willing to indulge him.

*                                              *                                              *

"Who didn't know the frat rush party by moonlight in the quad was a bad idea?" Buffy moaned, dodging a panicking frat boy so she could stake a vampire. A hundred or so teens had turned out for the outdoors party and a dozen or more vampires had somehow heard about it and showed up for the easy pickings. Now there were people and demons racing everywhere.

"I suppose it should have been obvious," Willow said, trying to avoid getting stampeded by drunken teens. "Oh, they got Peter." She pointed to a small, bespeckled teen that was about to get noshed on. Willow rattled off a spell that hurled the vampire away. "No eating my former lab partner!"

Buffy danced away from Willow. Her friends could handle herself, unlike all the other bodies milling about. She wished she knew where this pack of vampires had come from. The last time she had seen this many vampires working together was back in the days when she was facing Spike, Dru and Angelus. How things had changed. Spike and Angel were fighting with her along with Angel's teammate, Gunn. Fred was with Giles researching the skinned bodies while Anya and Xander were off actually talking and trying to determine if their relationship was repairable. Buffy was just glad Dawn was out with Kit. Not only did it get Dawn away from this mess but she was actually making friends her own age.

"Buffy, look!" Willow cried, pointing toward the shadows near the bell tower building. A cat-like creature skulked there. It was nearly colorless and seemed to be almost gelatinous with things moving in it. "What is that?"

"Not a clue."

"Shibojis."

Buffy spun, hearing Angel's voice, her hand flicking out almost casually staking a vampire coming up on her blind side. "What?" Her eyes widened seeing the stricken looks on both Angel and Spike's faces. Angel was holding Spike back as if the smaller vampire wanted to tear off at a run.

"Shibojis, a type of demon. They're good at controlling other demons, make them work for them," Angel said, obviously struggling not to join in the mayhem and suck down a student or two.

"It's calling to you," Buffy said, seeing confirmation in their eyes.

"We've got to get out of here," Spike said, shaking with the effort it took to hold back.

Buffy stabbed a finger away from the demon. "Go!"

Angel dragged Spike in the opposite direction from the creature. Spike regained control of his own legs again and booked on his own. They disappeared into the night.

"We should have asked how to kill it," Willow said, then pointed to a passel of vampires making a break toward a frat house. She looked a bit pained as if trying to make a tough decisions. She whispered, 'Incendi,' and at that word the vampires flambéed.

"Yeah." Buffy staked two more vampires, angling toward where she saw Gunn hacking away. "Gunn!"

He beheaded a vampire then looked over at her. "Yeah?"

"That Jelly-cat is controlling the vampires," Buffy said, nodding toward the creature in case Gunn had missed it. "Angel and Spike had to tear out of here."

"Great. What the hell is that?" Gunn eyed it uneasily, shifting his ax from hand to hand.

"Doesn't matter. Willow and I can handle it if you get our backs."

"You got it." Gunn flashed a wicked grin and surged back into action.

Buffy ranged off, Willow in her wake. "You hang back, Will, let me see if the direct approach works first."

"No arguments."

"Oh, look at this. Can you be drunker?" Buffy waved a hand at a young man racing straight at a wall of vampires who still had a half dozen students corralled. "Let's run toward the people with the hideous faces like it's some frat boy prank."

"Is it me or do college kids get younger every semester?" Willow stared at the boy as she headed for the trapped students herself.

Buffy rolled her eyes. It wasn't as if she and Willow were old-looking but this kid did look all of thirteen. "We'd better save them first. Gives Kitty less to control, too."

Before Buffy could move the young man shocked her by taking out three vampires in rapid succession, moving so fast she could barely track him.

"Wow," Willow muttered, not breaking her stride.

"Yeah." Buffy picked off a few more vampires. "Get these kids out of here, Will. I'm going for Hello Kitty over there."

Buffy didn't wait for a response. She bounded after the controlling demon. She didn't even get into strike range when a protoplasmic lash erupted out of the thing's back and slapped her into the ground so hard Buffy got dirt in her mouth. Spitting, she rolled to her feet as the dark-haired kid took an aerobatic leap at the creature. He got swatted into a tree for his trouble. Buffy, wishing she had a distance weapon on her tonight, tried to maneuver in closer while it was distracted. She almost managed to dodge the lash this time but lost her balance as it clipped her left foot.

The demon, sensing the battle was going against it, leapt up, managing to land on the bell tower roof in one motion. The kid swarmed up the building in a manner Buffy had only ever seen vampires do before.

"How did he do that?" Willow asked, appearing at Buffy's elbow.

"Don't know," Buffy said, favoring the ankle the lash had twisted. She looked for her best way up onto the roof.

A startled cry stopped her momentarily and the kid came sailing over the edge of the building, obviously hurled with considerable force. He wind milled for a second then tucked and twisted like a cat. Buffy backpedaled realizing she was in his path. He landed on his feet, stumbling forward and plowed into her. They both went down in a tangle of limbs. Buffy flung him off, expecting to be tossing a mangled corpse. The kid cried out, surprised.

Buffy stared at him in shock. "How are you not dead? Wait, how did you get up there in the first place?"

The kid shoved back his shapeless brown hair, rolling into a sitting position. "It got away," he muttered, ignoring her questions.

"Way to stick the landing, kid," Gunn said, running up, vampire dust clinging to his sweating, bald head.   
  


The boy's blue eyes narrowed. "You try it." 

"You know him?" Buffy said, getting to her feet.

A scream cut off Gunn's reply. They all looked to see a girl moments away from being drained by the last and most persistent of the vampires. A metal flash caught their eyes as an asp sailed in, bashing the creature in the forehead, knocking him away. A dark-haired man danced in and finished it off. The girl glommed onto him, screaming incoherently. He wiggled free, shoved the girl towards some of the few remaining students then ran over to Buffy and her companions.

"Connor! We've talked about this. Any time you feel the urge to leap out of the car while it's still going and run off into the night, you give me warning," Wesley scolded.

Connor looked unrepentant. Buffy's stare switched to Wesley. 

"Wesley?"

He smiled at her. "Hello, Buffy, Willow. It's been a while."

Buffy's eyes just widened. "You could say that. You know him, too?" She pointed at Connor. 

"He just fell off the bell tower," Willow said, her voice a tight squeak of disbelief.

"I'm fine," Connor said, rolling his eyes as he hopped up.

"But you shouldn't be." Buffy watched him shake off the fall like it was nothing.

"Connor's tough," Gunn said, pacing closer to Wesley, still very much on alert.

"That thing got away. We should be going after it," Connor said ready to chase it down.

"What was it?" Wesley asked, laying a hand on Connor's shoulder to stop him.

"Angel said it was a Shibojis," Buffy said. "It shot out jelly whips that pack one heck of a punch." She rubbed her gut ruefully.

"You can't just attack a Shibojis with a stake," Wesley said, but it lacked the officiousness Buffy had always associated with him.

"Do you know how we do attack it?" Buffy wasn't sure why she asked him. Maybe because for once he wasn't talking down to her.

"A water pistol full of sea water ought to do it," Wesley said. "They can't handle salt...sort of like slugs."

"Water…" Buffy scowled. "I'll have to go back home to get one of those."

"Did you say his name was Connor?" Willow nodded toward the gangly boy.

Buffy looked at the young man again as if seeing him for the first time. How could she miss connecting the boy's name to what Angel had told her. "As in Angel's son?"

Connor rolled his eyes again. "Don't remind me."

"Still mad?" Gunn whispered, forgetting Connor could still hear him. Wesley just nodded.

Buffy reached out to the boy but stopped herself from touching him. This couldn't be Angel's son. He looked nothing like his father, no broad shoulders, no strong features, no dark chocolately eyes. Tall dark and handsome the boy wasn't. He was nearly as thin and girlie looking as Dawn. "Your father had to leave. That demon can turn vampires into puppets."

 "I missed fighting him." Connor's full lips fell into a scowl. "You should have driven faster, Wes."

"I think you're missing the point," Buffy said but Wesley laid a hand on her shoulder. He shook his head.

"Why are you here, Wes?" Gunn asked.

"We found out a good deal about those skinned victims that I figured we needed to share with you."

"Then we ought to get back to Giles and let him know," Willow said.

"I tried to call him but there was no answer. Of course that was hours ago," Wesley said.

"He should be at my place," Buffy said. "Come on, I'll show you the way back in case you've forgotten."

  
"Someone ought to follow that thing," Connor said, stubbornly.

"In the car, Connor. You don't have the weapons to kill it," Wesley said. The boy opened his mouth to protest but Wesley silenced him with a look. Connor kicked at the dirt but fell in line behind Wesley.

Buffy sidled up to Wes and whispered, "That's really Angel's son?"

"Yeah, I really am," Connor snapped.

"Just a word of warning, Buffy, Connor can hear like a vampire," Wesley said with a smile. "And he can be a bit peevish."  
  


Buffy shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry. I'm still trying to get used to the idea." She kept quiet about the obvious dislike the boy had for his kin. There'd be time to talk about that once Wesley made his report.


	5. Love and Support

CHAPTER FIVE

Connor shifted uncomfortably in front of the fireplace where he was huddled. Too many eyes were on him. Buffy and the red-head, an older man who peered near-sightedly at him through thick glasses much like Wesley did and a young girl with long hair who kept smiling at him. She sat next to him.

"You're sure you're okay?" Willow's bright eyes studied Connor intently.

"That bell tower wasn't very high," Gunn replied, with a dismissive wave of his hand. "He likes to sky off high rises back home."

"I'm fine," Connor said, glaring at Gunn for daring to speak for him.

"Sky?" Dawn asked as Buffy shoved things around in her weapons' chest, trying to find a water gun.

"Jumps," Gunn supplied.

Dawn turned incredulous eyes on Connor. "How? Why?"

"He's not that bright," Gunn snorted and Connor curled his lip at him.

"You're jealous." Connor jutted his chin out at Gunn.

  
Gunn shrugged. "It would be handy if I could do that."

"How can any normal human do that?" Dawn's eyes squinted as if she were trying to discern if she were being told the truth.

"Connor is special," Wesley said.

"Yeah, I know the feeling," Dawn said wryly, as the front door banged open.

Angel and Spike stumbled through it. Both vampires still looked rattled.

"I've enough problems without some bloody Shirobjis mucking around in my head," Spike muttered, walking into Buffy's living room like he owned it.

"You'll get no arguments from me. Giles, you need to tell Buffy," Angel called before coming into the living room. "Oh, you're back. Sorry about leaving you out there, Buffy. Did you manage to handle the shirobjis?"

"No, looking for a water pistol. I don't seem to have one." Buffy pouted. "I'm going to have to go to Xander's. I so hope he didn't take Anya back there. I don't want to walk in on anything."

"Where'd you pick up the runt, Dawn?" Spike asked, his eyes flicking towards Connor. "Toss him back. You can do better."

"Hey!" Connor protested, his blue eyes hardening like steel.

"He's my son, Spike," Angel rumbled, looking like a wild creature protecting its cub.

Spike dropped his cigarette but caught it before it could hit the floor. A few sparkly ashes fell from the tip. He stamped them out before they could damage the rug.

"Spike!" Buffy admonished. 

Spike waved her off. "What did you say, mate?"

Angel sighed, his body going loose. He didn't want to have to get into it with Spike. "Connor's my son."

"That's not possible." Spike crossed the room to loom over Connor who scowled up at the slim vampire.

"You must have missed the big explanation yesterday," Angel said.

"I have an uncle?" Spike reached out and touched Connor's hair. "He doesn't look like much."

Connor swatted away his arm. "I'm guessing I can't kill this vampire for some reason."

"You got it," Gunn said, rolling his eyes.

Spike snorted, plopping down on the floor next to Dawn. "You kill me? Think mighty highly of yourself for a little thing, don't you?"

"He's very capable, Spike," Angel said wearily as Dawn shoved Spike. "He seems to enjoy killing vampires."

"How in the world did this happen?" Spike reached out to touch Connor again and got swatted again.

"It's a long story and we don't have time for this." Angel turned to Buffy, hoping to get them back on track. "Buffy, Spike and I will be useless against the Shibojis."

She nodded, putting her weapons chest back in order. "I think I can handle this alone." 

"I can help," Connor piped up, an eager expression on his face.

"Um, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't know you yet and I'm a little…" Buffy trailed off, shifting uncomfortably.

"Freaked out," Dawn supplied with an apologetic shrug.

"I was looking for a better word." Buffy gave Dawn a stern look. "But yeah."

"Connor can stay here and help me tell Giles and Angel about the skinning deaths," Wesley said and Connor pouted.

"Gunn can sit in for me. There's something important I have to do. It's been put off too long," Angel said. "And it's something I need to do alone." His tone was one that would prevent any arguments.

"I'll brief everyone," Wesley said. "Hopefully we'll have a plan started by the time you and Buffy get back."

Angel nodded and headed out the door. He walked to Cordelia's, trying to gather his thoughts as he went. He hadn't expected Connor to be in Sunnydale. He owed it to Cordelia at least to be the one who told her his son was around. He didn't want her to be surprised. No one answered the door but he could see a light on and hear someone moving inside.

"Come on, Cordelia. I know you're in there. We have to talk. I'm not going anywhere until we do." Angel hated this, standing there yelling like an angry boyfriend so all the neighbors could hear but it worked.

Cordelia opened the door. Her pretty face was puffy from lack of sleep, her eyes swollen and red. Angel nearly forgot he was angry with her. All he saw was the girl who had become close as a sister to him. He could see in her eyes that she didn't want to talk to him but he couldn't let this go.

"May I please come in?" he asked. He'd never been in Cordy's home in Sunnydale. Back when they both lived here, Cordelia had been little more than an annoyance, someone he tolerated for Buffy's sake. How things had changed. Cordelia had grown into someone special in L.A.

"Come in." She wearily dragged herself toward the living room and gestured at the couch. "I was hoping you'd give me the time I need to sort things out." Cordelia didn't look at him.

"And I would have, only I know about you…" Angel trailed off, trying to figure out how to end that. But from the look on her face he knew he didn't have to.

"Oh, God!" Cordelia glanced up at him, her eyes going wet. 

"And I was going to still wait for you to come to me to talk about it but things changed tonight. Wes is in town and he's brought Connor with him. They have information on the skinned bodies we found. Connor hasn't asked to see you yet but he'll want to. I just thought…well, that you should be prepared for it."

He thought she managed to mumble a thank you before breaking down into tears. He embraced her tightly. Holding her there, Angel saw things more clearly than perhaps he ever had. He did love Cordelia, not really in the romantic sense but as family like he had been thinking earlier. He had proof now, sitting here with the strange desire to take away her pain. She was family. And that could be far more special than being a girlfriend. Girlfriends came and went. She was a replacement for Kathy. In her own way - once he cut through the blinders well-meaning friends had put on him – he could see Cordelia for what she really was to him. She was his heart. Buffy was his soul and at this point he had no clear claim on either one. He felt almost as sad for himself as he did for Cordy and his son.

Finally she pulled away from him, reaching for the Kleenex box on the table. He knew these were hardly the first tears she had cried. Cordy blew her nose then stuffed the tissue in a bag full of them. "I didn't want you to know, Angel. I didn't want you to find out like this."

"I would have found out eventually." Angel paused, seeing something in Cordelia's dark eyes. "Oh. I wouldn't have known, ever. That's what you're saying."

Cordelia looked away, levering herself off the couch. "I'm sorry, Angel. I can't imagine how much you must hate me right now."

"Cordelia, I don't hate you," he said softly.

She snorted, dragging a hand through her hair, which was far more unkempt than he had ever seen it. "After what I did, I don't blame you. Worse, you know what I'm planning to do. How can you not hate me? I hate myself."

Angel got up and crossed over to her. He pulled her into a cool hug, kissing the top of her head. "I don't hate you. I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't hurt by all of this. I know you care about Connor. I'm not going to press you to explain why it all happened. That's for you to tell me if you want or not. I'm still a little stunned by this turn of events. I can't imagine what you're feeling now Cordelia but I want you to know I'm going to be here for you, no matter what."

Cordelia snuggled against him, her body trembling. She tilted her head back, letting her hair fall away from a tear-slicked face. "Even if I abort your grandchild?"

Angel tried to keep the emotion off his face. He knew he wasn't entirely successful. "Yes, even if I don't approve."

She pushed away from him gently. "How can I have this baby, Angel? It's not fair. This wasn't supposed to happen. I can't have a baby, not now. Connor's too young to be a father and yes, I know I should have thought of that before I slept with him. I just didn't…I was so stupid."

"I wouldn't say stupid." Angel ran a thumb along her cheek. "This has been a very hard time for you, Cordelia, confusing. Being taken to that higher plane and returned without your memories. You had to be terrified and we weren't much help. You still have to be frightened."

"I am," she whispered. "You don't know how scared."

He pulled her back into an embrace. "You're right. I don't. But I'll do whatever I can to help you. I promise you that. All I ask is that you think this through, Cordy. You just found out about the pregnancy. Give yourself time to be sure you really want to end it."

She shook her head. "I don't need time, Angel. I know it's the right thing to do." She looked up at him waiting for him to renege on his promise to stand by her.

Sorrow filled his dark eyes. "I'm not going to tell you how to live your life. I just…" he bit off the rest of his thought. "You do what you have to and tell me how I can help."

"Don't tell Connor, please. I don't want him to know." Cordelia stepped back, crossing her arms over her chest. "I wish no one else knew but probably everyone does."

"Outside of Connor and Wesley, probably."

"This is so humiliating." She scrubbed a hand over his face. "I feel so horrible."

"These people are your friends, Cordy. They'll understand and support you. That's what friends do," Angel reassured her.

"Thank you." She took a deep breath. "I thought you'd scream at me or be furious at my decision. I know you don't like it. I can see that and I can respect why. It's just…I know this is the right thing to do."

"And I'll stand by you just like I said. I won't tell Connor because if you do have an abortion I don't want him to know. Don't tell him, not ever. It'll be better that way." Misery laced through his words and Angel seemed somehow smaller to her.

Cordelia started crying again and Angel held onto her. When she cried herself out once more, she squeezed his hand. "You probably have a lot of work to do with this thing that brought Wesley down here in the first place.  You should go do it."

Angel nodded. "I'll be here for a while. If you need me for anything, you know where to find me."

"I appreciate that, Angel. And I'm so sorry I made such a mess of everything."

"I know you didn't mean to, Cordy. You didn't want to hurt anyone and that makes all the difference," Angel said and she smiled at him as she led him to the door. Angel went out into the night, feeling  so far beyond sad he didn't even know if he could make it back to that state. He was numb. Part of him knew Cordelia was right. Having this baby could damage so many lives. But then again, it was his grandchild and he could never feel right about ending its chance at life. He wouldn't interfere, though. It wasn't his right to do so. He only hoped that Cordelia didn't come to regret this choice. Trying to put it out of his mind, trying to bury it deep so he could do what he needed to, Angel headed back to Buffy's to find out what Wesley had learned about the murders.


End file.
